Today was a tough day. I am feeling pretty good right now, the best I have felt all day, but it has been a struggle today. It began with a poor night of sleep due to frequent trips to the bathroom. Between the 24/7 IV fluids and the effects of the chemo, I have gotten my exercise, and have had little time to sleep. Unfortunately, this seems to be par for the course so I am just going to have to fight through it.
My counts rebounded a little today, as expected, but I still felt very fatigued. The stem cell infusion and the Neupogen shots I began receiving again last night helped to boost my white blood cells. They assure me that the counts will crash again over the weekend before they fully return to normal. My counts are as follows:
W=1.8
H=9.6
P=27
As the platelets fall they are concerned about bleeding so I have been warned not to blow my nose too hard! It seems like such a small worry right now, but I will heed their warning.
The hardest part about today was just the realization that this is the beginning of a long week of increasing symptoms, and that although the first week here has gone by pretty quickly, the coming week will likely go much slower. It got me to thinking about what it takes to beat cancer, and I think there are a lot of answers to that question (enough to write a book). Faith is the first thing that comes to mind; faith in the Lord, faith in family, friends and loved ones, and faith in yourself. You need support from a myriad of places, and I am blessed to have that. I think you need perspective as well. No matter how tough today is, someone else has it worse. When this is all over, all the struggles will be well worth the trouble. Ethan turned 7 months old today, and I can't wait to see him tomorrow. Cancer can't compete with that motivation.
In the end I think it comes down to relentless determination. People always talk about battling cancer, and that is a very accurate description. It is a phrase that can lose it's meaning through frequent use, but cancer is a battle. It is a battle that changes everyday. Thankfully we have the knowledge and the drugs to fight it. I will continue to fight and win the battle with faith, perspective, and relentless determination!
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6 comments:
Dr. Matt,
What can one say, even with all you are going through, you are an inspiration! Keep up the fight, and know that there are many prayers that are being said for you. Wow, Ethan is 7 months old! How quickly the time goes by. We are all thinking of you. The battle will be tough, but I know you are going to be victorious!!
Jackie
Matt,
Love to keep getting the updates. As any engineer I love the technical stuff. As all are saying you are an inspiration to me and my family. We count our selves luck to call you and your family friends. We think and pray for you daily. Keep up the good fight and we look forward to seeing you this summer.
Mark and the Faust family
Matt, Megan & Ethan -- we are thinking of you always and send you many, many prayers. Matt, it's been said before, but it bears repeating many, many times. You are truly an inspiration.
Our love & prayers to you -- Mary Witt
you make me strive to be a better person.
thanks matt!
Matt,
Thinking about you lots. Praying too. Derek, the kids and I send our love.
Peace, Amy
This is a battle you will win, Matt. God bless you and your family.
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