We have been quite busy since my last post. We have closed on our condo, had surgery, moved, and are still waiting for internet, tv, and phone to be connected in our new home! Hence, the long break in blogging. Here is a quick update, however, and we will provide more info when we have internet access again.
We finally closed on our condo on January 30! We feel very lucky to have done so, but will miss the view of the river. We quickly started packing since we moved just a week later.
On February 5 I had surgery that went very well. The pathology report showed that the chemo had killed the majority of the cancer in the testicle. This was good news, because the chemo is not usually very effective there. I spent the 2 days recovering and then was up and about.
On February 8 we moved to a rental condo in Trenton. It is much bigger and has a basement and attached two car garage. So we finally have our things in one location, and we no longer have to trek up and down 3 floors with groceries and Ethan!!
We are leaving tomorrow for Indianapolis to see Dr. Einhorn. He is the doctor that treated Lance Armstrong, and is top guy for testicular cancer. We will be discussing what to do next. I still have masses of tissue in my abdomen, chest, and lungs. My oncologist believes that it is likely scar tissue and dead tumor cells, but wants the input of the top oncologist in the field before we proceed. In mid January my tumor markers were down to 500, and I had blood drawn on Friday to check those levels again. I will have those results in the next couple days. We will meet with my oncologist on Thursday after returning from Indianapolis, and should have a plan for further treatment by the end of the week. Hopefully I will have internet access by then and will post an update from our new home.
I hope you are doing well, and thank you for your continued support and prayers.
Sunday, February 15, 2009
Friday, January 23, 2009
Phase II
Today was a big day that brought some good news, and some challenges yet ahead. I met with my oncologist today to review the CT scan and discuss what is next. He had a preliminary report from the CT scan that showed a 50-70% reduction in the size of all tumors! That is great news, and according to him, an excellent response to the chemo. To refresh your memory, I had several extremely large masses in my abdomen and chest, as well as smaller masses in my lungs. One of the smaller masses in my abdomen is gone. The other large masses in my abdomen and chest have shrunk significantly. Obviously I was hoping he would tell me that everything was gone, but realistically this was the type of progress I expected and hoped for.
When I started the large masses were measuring 8 and 9 cm in length and 4-6 cm in diameter. These were huge masses. I don't have the final report from the CT scan yet, but their dimensions are now in the 1.5 to 4.0 cm range. One of the masses in my lungs was down to 4 mm in size. It was always expected that there would be remnants of the tumors when I finished the chemo, and this is excellent progress.
So the question is now what do we do with the remaining masses. Conventional treatment for this cancer has been to remove all signs of disease, meaning surgery to remove all tumors. What my doctor has suggested at this point is to send me to Indiana University to see Dr. Einhorn for a second opinion. Dr. Einhorn is one of the premier oncologist for testicular cancer. He created the treatment that I just completed, and he is the doctor that treated Lance Armstrong. Lance flew from Texas to Indiana for all of his treatments. My oncologist has been in touch with Dr. Einhorn via email regarding my case from the beginning, but he wants me to see him regarding whether to proceed with surgery to remove all of the remaining tumors.
There are two things that concern my oncologist at this point, that he feels warrant the trip to Indiana. The first is the fact that my HCG levels are still elevated. I had blood drawn today to check my HCG levels, but at the start of the fourth round of chemo they were still 932. Normal levels are 0-5. I started out with levels at >200,000. This number quickly dropped in the first two rounds of chemo, but then seemed to level off in the third round. There are two things that could explain this. I have not had the primary tumor site removed yet, and that could be releasing HCG. I will have that surgery on February 5. My oncologist also received an email from Dr. Einhorn earlier in my treatment, directing him to a study that showed that patients with my cancer sometimes have elevated HCG levels even after the cancer is gone. The tumor marker may never return to normal levels even with successful treatment. So we do not know if the elevated HCG is significant or not. We will know my latest levels on Monday or Tuesday.
The other question is whether or not to surgically remove all of the sites. The standard has been to remove all signs of disease, but recently at Indiana they have chosen to leave some tumors and watch them for changes. This is a change from the standard, but the standard was created by this group in Indiana, and they at the forefront of treatment for testicular cancer. So I will be heading down there to get their opinion on what I should do next. The surgeon that performed my biopsy at St. Joe's saw my CT scan on Thursday, and said she could remove the remaining masses for me, but also said she knew the surgeons at Indiana and agreed a second opinion was appropriate. I am thankful to have excellent, capable doctors taking care of me, but that they are also open to enlisting the expertise of others. Particularly when the others are some of the best in the field. I have had excellent care thus far, and are very thankful for my doctors.
The bottom line is that my treatment has gone very well. I have had an excellent response to the chemo, leading to significant reduction of the tumors. I feel very good, and my oncologist told me today that I have tolerated this very aggressive treatment better than any other patient he has seen. I will have surgery on February 5, and likely will head to Indiana after that surgery to determine what to do about the metastatic tumors in my abdomen, chest, and lungs. I also can expect my white blood cells to rebound to normal levels in the next 7 days, which means I can come out of quarantine!! So next weekend I can rejoin society. I have not been cleared to work yet, but I don't have to be afraid of crowds anymore.
I have made great progress, but we are not done yet. As I sat there after meeting with the oncologist, waiting to have my blood drawn, I felt the same rush of adrenaline that I felt when this all started. It occurred to me that it was the fight-or-flight response found throughout nature, and I choose to fight. I feel much better than I did when we started treatment, we have made significant progress, yet there are still some questions to be answered. It is time again to seek answers, decide on a course of action, and then finish this thing off. It is Matt 4 and Cancer 0, and I am still going for the shutout.
When I started the large masses were measuring 8 and 9 cm in length and 4-6 cm in diameter. These were huge masses. I don't have the final report from the CT scan yet, but their dimensions are now in the 1.5 to 4.0 cm range. One of the masses in my lungs was down to 4 mm in size. It was always expected that there would be remnants of the tumors when I finished the chemo, and this is excellent progress.
So the question is now what do we do with the remaining masses. Conventional treatment for this cancer has been to remove all signs of disease, meaning surgery to remove all tumors. What my doctor has suggested at this point is to send me to Indiana University to see Dr. Einhorn for a second opinion. Dr. Einhorn is one of the premier oncologist for testicular cancer. He created the treatment that I just completed, and he is the doctor that treated Lance Armstrong. Lance flew from Texas to Indiana for all of his treatments. My oncologist has been in touch with Dr. Einhorn via email regarding my case from the beginning, but he wants me to see him regarding whether to proceed with surgery to remove all of the remaining tumors.
There are two things that concern my oncologist at this point, that he feels warrant the trip to Indiana. The first is the fact that my HCG levels are still elevated. I had blood drawn today to check my HCG levels, but at the start of the fourth round of chemo they were still 932. Normal levels are 0-5. I started out with levels at >200,000. This number quickly dropped in the first two rounds of chemo, but then seemed to level off in the third round. There are two things that could explain this. I have not had the primary tumor site removed yet, and that could be releasing HCG. I will have that surgery on February 5. My oncologist also received an email from Dr. Einhorn earlier in my treatment, directing him to a study that showed that patients with my cancer sometimes have elevated HCG levels even after the cancer is gone. The tumor marker may never return to normal levels even with successful treatment. So we do not know if the elevated HCG is significant or not. We will know my latest levels on Monday or Tuesday.
The other question is whether or not to surgically remove all of the sites. The standard has been to remove all signs of disease, but recently at Indiana they have chosen to leave some tumors and watch them for changes. This is a change from the standard, but the standard was created by this group in Indiana, and they at the forefront of treatment for testicular cancer. So I will be heading down there to get their opinion on what I should do next. The surgeon that performed my biopsy at St. Joe's saw my CT scan on Thursday, and said she could remove the remaining masses for me, but also said she knew the surgeons at Indiana and agreed a second opinion was appropriate. I am thankful to have excellent, capable doctors taking care of me, but that they are also open to enlisting the expertise of others. Particularly when the others are some of the best in the field. I have had excellent care thus far, and are very thankful for my doctors.
The bottom line is that my treatment has gone very well. I have had an excellent response to the chemo, leading to significant reduction of the tumors. I feel very good, and my oncologist told me today that I have tolerated this very aggressive treatment better than any other patient he has seen. I will have surgery on February 5, and likely will head to Indiana after that surgery to determine what to do about the metastatic tumors in my abdomen, chest, and lungs. I also can expect my white blood cells to rebound to normal levels in the next 7 days, which means I can come out of quarantine!! So next weekend I can rejoin society. I have not been cleared to work yet, but I don't have to be afraid of crowds anymore.
I have made great progress, but we are not done yet. As I sat there after meeting with the oncologist, waiting to have my blood drawn, I felt the same rush of adrenaline that I felt when this all started. It occurred to me that it was the fight-or-flight response found throughout nature, and I choose to fight. I feel much better than I did when we started treatment, we have made significant progress, yet there are still some questions to be answered. It is time again to seek answers, decide on a course of action, and then finish this thing off. It is Matt 4 and Cancer 0, and I am still going for the shutout.
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Time for a Happy Dance!!
YAY! We will be closing on our condo next Friday, January 30!!! We'll be renting a condo for the next 12 months, while we get Matt 100% recovered & cancer-free.
New car, new place to live....now all we need is a good report from the oncologist tomorrow & we'll be in great shape!!!
Ethan is up on hands & knees, but just can't figure out this crawling business yet. We bought him a bouncer that is freestanding and bouncing is now his favorite pastime. In fact, he is napping right now, building up strength for more bouncing! Ethan started eating rice cereal this week (in a highchair that he LOVES) & we mean business this time. He grabs for the spoon, wanting to feed himself! Ethan is such a joy! I know, I know...we need to download some pictures & get them up. We'll work on it.
Thank you to everyone who has helped us into this new year! We appreciate everyone's good thoughts, wishes & prayers!
New car, new place to live....now all we need is a good report from the oncologist tomorrow & we'll be in great shape!!!
Ethan is up on hands & knees, but just can't figure out this crawling business yet. We bought him a bouncer that is freestanding and bouncing is now his favorite pastime. In fact, he is napping right now, building up strength for more bouncing! Ethan started eating rice cereal this week (in a highchair that he LOVES) & we mean business this time. He grabs for the spoon, wanting to feed himself! Ethan is such a joy! I know, I know...we need to download some pictures & get them up. We'll work on it.
Thank you to everyone who has helped us into this new year! We appreciate everyone's good thoughts, wishes & prayers!
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
End of Chemo!
Yesterday was my last scheduled day of chemo!! I have now completed 4 rounds of chemo and it feels great to be done. The chemo did kick my butt yesterday. I felt the worst following yesterday's treatment than any other day. Thankfully I got a good night of sleep (about 11 hours) and I felt good today. I guess the chemo just wanted to say a hearty farewell.
My white blood cells continue to be very low. The WBC count was 1.3, the lowest it has been throughout treatment. Of more concern was my neutrophil count, which was 0.4. Normally they want that to be at least 1.2 to continue with chemo, but given the nature of my cancer and the fact that is was my last treatment, my doctor gave me the ok to continue with the chemo. I will have to wait a couple of weeks before I have any surgery due to my counts being low and the risk of infection is high.
Today I had a CT scan, the results of which I will learn of on Friday. I feel confident that it will be good news. It is hard to believe that the 4 rounds are over. The tumors were found on October 20th, and now I have finished the standard treatment exactly 3 months later on January 20th. It seemed like such a long treatment when I started, but it did go by faster than I expected. I will likely have more treatment necessary to remove the remnants of the tumors, but the main treatment is over.
It has been quite a ride. I have a wonderful wife that has taken excellent care of me. I have also been amazed by the support I have received from so many of you. Thanks for your support, your love, and your prayers. I thought this blog would be just a simple way to keep people updated, but it has been a great source of support and strength throughout the 3 months. Thank you all, we are almost there.
My white blood cells continue to be very low. The WBC count was 1.3, the lowest it has been throughout treatment. Of more concern was my neutrophil count, which was 0.4. Normally they want that to be at least 1.2 to continue with chemo, but given the nature of my cancer and the fact that is was my last treatment, my doctor gave me the ok to continue with the chemo. I will have to wait a couple of weeks before I have any surgery due to my counts being low and the risk of infection is high.
Today I had a CT scan, the results of which I will learn of on Friday. I feel confident that it will be good news. It is hard to believe that the 4 rounds are over. The tumors were found on October 20th, and now I have finished the standard treatment exactly 3 months later on January 20th. It seemed like such a long treatment when I started, but it did go by faster than I expected. I will likely have more treatment necessary to remove the remnants of the tumors, but the main treatment is over.
It has been quite a ride. I have a wonderful wife that has taken excellent care of me. I have also been amazed by the support I have received from so many of you. Thanks for your support, your love, and your prayers. I thought this blog would be just a simple way to keep people updated, but it has been a great source of support and strength throughout the 3 months. Thank you all, we are almost there.
Thursday, January 15, 2009
One Week to Go
It's Thursday, January 15th, and I just have one more scheduled day of chemo on Tuesday. I have been feeling good this past week, just very tired. I completed my 5 day week of chemo last Friday, and spent the weekend doing my Rip Van Winkle impersonation. I pretty much slept the weekend away, except for a trip to my parents' house for dinner on Sunday. It was definitely good to get out of the condo. On Tuesday I had a treatment of Bleomycin that was uneventful. My white blood cell counts were at 2.6, and have likely continued to drop this week. I still feel better than I expected I would at this point, but each round has brought more fatigue. I don't feel sick, I just don't feel like doing much more than sleeping. I usually have a few hours a day when I feel energetic, so I have made a trip to the gym, a trip to the office, and a trip to the car dealership to pick up a new car.
The past three months have been a waiting game on many fronts. We are anxiously awaiting next weeks CT Scan to find out how successful treatment has been. We wait each week to hear the latest blood counts and tumor marker levels. We are still waiting to sell our condo, as our buyer is still waiting to get her financing approved. We finally crossed one thing off our list yesterday when we turned in my lease for a new car. In this time of waiting it feels great to actually cross something off of our to-do-list. We picked up a new Ford Flex and are very pleased with it after one day. It was snowing all day yesterday and the Flex handled very well in the snow. It has been a very snowy year so far in Michigan, and I can't wait to get the OK to take the new car Up North to do some skiing. Of course, that will have to wait a little bit longer.
Next week is a big week: Tuesday is the final day of chemo, Wednesday is my CT Scan, and Friday is the appointment with the oncologist to go over the results of the scan and decide on what the next steps will involve. I have several mixed feelings. I feel like the 3 months of treatment have gone by quickly, yet it also seems like I have been couped up in this condo forever. I am excited about finishing the treatment next week, but am a little anxious because it is not really finished. I feel strongly that the treatment has worked, because I feel so much better than I did at the start of treatment. At the same time, I am prepared for the likely fact that there is still some tumor tissue remaining in my chest and abdomen that will need further treatment. It is a strange mix of emotions that are both positive and cautious at the same time. Thankfully, soon we will have many answers and the waiting will be over. We will be on to the next step and it will be the final step of treatment. Thank you all for your support, we are almost there!
The past three months have been a waiting game on many fronts. We are anxiously awaiting next weeks CT Scan to find out how successful treatment has been. We wait each week to hear the latest blood counts and tumor marker levels. We are still waiting to sell our condo, as our buyer is still waiting to get her financing approved. We finally crossed one thing off our list yesterday when we turned in my lease for a new car. In this time of waiting it feels great to actually cross something off of our to-do-list. We picked up a new Ford Flex and are very pleased with it after one day. It was snowing all day yesterday and the Flex handled very well in the snow. It has been a very snowy year so far in Michigan, and I can't wait to get the OK to take the new car Up North to do some skiing. Of course, that will have to wait a little bit longer.
Next week is a big week: Tuesday is the final day of chemo, Wednesday is my CT Scan, and Friday is the appointment with the oncologist to go over the results of the scan and decide on what the next steps will involve. I have several mixed feelings. I feel like the 3 months of treatment have gone by quickly, yet it also seems like I have been couped up in this condo forever. I am excited about finishing the treatment next week, but am a little anxious because it is not really finished. I feel strongly that the treatment has worked, because I feel so much better than I did at the start of treatment. At the same time, I am prepared for the likely fact that there is still some tumor tissue remaining in my chest and abdomen that will need further treatment. It is a strange mix of emotions that are both positive and cautious at the same time. Thankfully, soon we will have many answers and the waiting will be over. We will be on to the next step and it will be the final step of treatment. Thank you all for your support, we are almost there!
Thursday, January 8, 2009
Round 4, Day 4
It is 10:30 Thursday morning and I m nearly half way through my first bag of chemo for the day. This has been a good week. My port is working well and they have been able to speed up the drip of the chemo a little bit to get me out of here quicker. I feel better this round than I did last round. I am tired, but not as tired as the last round. The hiccups are back, of course, but I have learned to deal with that minor annoyance. All in all I am doing great. I was able to get some swimming in on Sunday before I started this round, and I look forward to continuing that after I finish this week of chemo. There is a nice new community center in a nearby city with a pool and indoor track so that I can get back to exercising again.
I have received some questions regarding why some of my chemo days are longer than others and also regarding my chemo schedule. I guess a brief explanation would be a good update. I receive 3 different chemo drugs; Etoposide, Cisplatin, and Bleomycin. Bleomycin is a dug that I receive once a week, every week. It is a strong drug that can cause pulmonary toxicity, which basically means it can cause hardening of the lungs. So far my lungs show no signs of any reaction. This drug is given in smaller doses at shorter intervals, so the days that I just get Bleomycin, (usually on Tuesdays) are my short appointments. The other two drugs are given in large amounts over the course of one week (currently this week), and they are the ones that cause the drop in the immune system and carry the risk of nausea. Each of them are given separately over the course of 1.5 - 2 hours each, with fluids given before, between, and afterwards. Therefore, this week's appointments are my long appointments. They monitor my blood counts between the weeks these drugs are given to watch the loss of white blood cells and then the build up of those same cells before the start of the next round. They also give me 6 different drugs to counteract the nausea, and boy do they work. I thankfully have not had to deal with this side effect as of yet.
I hope this helps answer some questions and clears up the details of my treatment for some of you.
I also heard from one of my staff this morning that her niece's close friend was just diagnosed with cancer, and she passed along this website to her. She is a few years younger than me. I would like to take this opportunity to ask all of you to pray for her as well. I would also like to tell her to ignore the statistics. Statistics are only an indication of what has happened in the past to other people. They do not take into account the specifics of your situation. They are based on other people whom may have other health problems that make them less likely to heal. Most importantly, they cannot measure your determination, your faith, your support system, and your will to fight this disease to the ends of the earth. I know that this is not something that you expect to face at our age. It is scary, but keep looking to the future. That is where you will find the cure, and you can change the 'statistics'. Be positive, and keep your focus on the fight ahead of you. You can do it!
I have received some questions regarding why some of my chemo days are longer than others and also regarding my chemo schedule. I guess a brief explanation would be a good update. I receive 3 different chemo drugs; Etoposide, Cisplatin, and Bleomycin. Bleomycin is a dug that I receive once a week, every week. It is a strong drug that can cause pulmonary toxicity, which basically means it can cause hardening of the lungs. So far my lungs show no signs of any reaction. This drug is given in smaller doses at shorter intervals, so the days that I just get Bleomycin, (usually on Tuesdays) are my short appointments. The other two drugs are given in large amounts over the course of one week (currently this week), and they are the ones that cause the drop in the immune system and carry the risk of nausea. Each of them are given separately over the course of 1.5 - 2 hours each, with fluids given before, between, and afterwards. Therefore, this week's appointments are my long appointments. They monitor my blood counts between the weeks these drugs are given to watch the loss of white blood cells and then the build up of those same cells before the start of the next round. They also give me 6 different drugs to counteract the nausea, and boy do they work. I thankfully have not had to deal with this side effect as of yet.
I hope this helps answer some questions and clears up the details of my treatment for some of you.
I also heard from one of my staff this morning that her niece's close friend was just diagnosed with cancer, and she passed along this website to her. She is a few years younger than me. I would like to take this opportunity to ask all of you to pray for her as well. I would also like to tell her to ignore the statistics. Statistics are only an indication of what has happened in the past to other people. They do not take into account the specifics of your situation. They are based on other people whom may have other health problems that make them less likely to heal. Most importantly, they cannot measure your determination, your faith, your support system, and your will to fight this disease to the ends of the earth. I know that this is not something that you expect to face at our age. It is scary, but keep looking to the future. That is where you will find the cure, and you can change the 'statistics'. Be positive, and keep your focus on the fight ahead of you. You can do it!
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
Happy New Year (belated)!
I hope everyone had a happy New Year! We enjoyed a couple of days at home, watching movies, football, and playing with Ethan. We did not stay up to see the ball drop, but stuck with Ethan's sleep schedule. We figured that he did not know that it was New Year's and that the appropriate thing to do was to sleep in the next day.
We had a wonderful holiday week filled with family, friends, and lot's of relaxing. We enjoyed our time with our family on Christmas Eve and Christmas day. We also enjoyed visits from good friends Dave and Anita Repp, Justin Busch, Jamie Kucab, Andy and Kate and Kendall Leutheuser, and Dan Holmes. It is always good to see friends in town for the holidays; and those that live nearby but we don't see as much as we should.
I am currently receiving my second bag of chemo today, with one more bag to go. It is my second day of my fourth round of Chemo. I had an appointment with my oncologist yesterday morning. He is very encouraged with my progress. His only concern is the reduced rate at which the tumor marker is dropping. It is now down to 932. That is great progress from the starting levels of >200,000, but after significant reduction the first weeks, the last weeks have been much slower. The last three readings have been 1130, 1105, and now 932. It is possible that the metastatic tumors continue to shrink, but the primary site is continuing to release the HCG. The primary site will have to be removed after I complete my chemo.
I have more information on what happens next after chemo. I complete chemo on January 20th, and I have an appointment with the surgeon that day to schedule the removal of the primary site (that is just an easier way to say it to ease my mind). The surgery will likely be the 29th of January. I also have a CT scan scheduled for Jan. 21 to see what is left of the metastatic sites in my abdomen, chest, and lungs. I will see my oncologist again on the 23 of Jan. to review what is left of the tumors and determine what other surgeries are needed. Usually there is some remnants of the tumor remaining that has to be removed surgically. Given the multiple sites of my tumors, I could be facing multiple surgeries.
After they remove the remaining tissue they have to determine the nature of the tissue; it could be scar tissue, dead tumor cells, or remaining active tumor cells. If they find remaining active tumor cells I will then undergo 2 more rounds of chemo, with different drugs, to ensure there is nothing left.
So while we are nearing the end, there are still some questions to be answered and possibly some more challenges ahead. I feel several emotions at this point. The predominant one is excitement that I am nearing the end of treatment and am still feeling very well, but a little fear is creeping in as well. I have never been afraid that I won't beat this, but now I worry about how effective the treatment has been. How much is left? What type of cells will they find? How difficult will the surgeries be? Given the location of the tumors I know that it may be very invasive surgery to access them. The chemo has been surprisingly easy, but my most difficult challenges may lie ahead.
Last night I awoke at 3:00 am, unable to sleep due the side effects of the Decadron I am on this week. I began thinking of all of these questions and I began praying. I came to the realization that whatever I have left to face, I will approach it the same way I have approached this cancer thus far; head on with my faith, family, and friends as a foundation of strength. I have learned that you have to play the cards you are dealt in life. Truly, worrying about these things is counter productive. The only way to beat adversity is to identify what you are up against, and then attack it head-on without looking back. Through God I feel I can accomplish anything. He provides guidance, love, and confidence. Most important of all He has blessed me with family and friends. My Megan is my rock, Ethan is my joy, and the rest of my family are blessings of love and never ending support. I have also found how important my friends are in this process. This blog has provided an amazing experience that has showed me how many friends truly care about me. I have found that beyond the many posts I have received that there are many others that are reading and either praying for me or keeping me in their thoughts. To me, you are like the arms of God surrounding me in his strength. Thank you all for your support. Whatever lies ahead, I will attack it head-on with my faith, my family, and my friends. There is nothing that this cancer can throw at us that we cannot beat!
This has got me thinking about when I was first diagnosed and the thoughts about with whom I should share this diagnosis. At first it was hard to imagine discussing the nature of my cancer with anyone but my doctors, family, and closest friends. However, I now know that would have been a mistake. It has been amazing to see how far this blog has spread through the community and to old friends. What I have gained from that show of love and support has been overwhelming. So I leave you with this advice: don't be afraid of sharing your challenges in life openly with your friends. You never know how much they care and are ready to support you unless you allow them the opportunity. There is no greater feeling in life that to know you are cared for, and that will give you immeasurable strength.
We had a wonderful holiday week filled with family, friends, and lot's of relaxing. We enjoyed our time with our family on Christmas Eve and Christmas day. We also enjoyed visits from good friends Dave and Anita Repp, Justin Busch, Jamie Kucab, Andy and Kate and Kendall Leutheuser, and Dan Holmes. It is always good to see friends in town for the holidays; and those that live nearby but we don't see as much as we should.
I am currently receiving my second bag of chemo today, with one more bag to go. It is my second day of my fourth round of Chemo. I had an appointment with my oncologist yesterday morning. He is very encouraged with my progress. His only concern is the reduced rate at which the tumor marker is dropping. It is now down to 932. That is great progress from the starting levels of >200,000, but after significant reduction the first weeks, the last weeks have been much slower. The last three readings have been 1130, 1105, and now 932. It is possible that the metastatic tumors continue to shrink, but the primary site is continuing to release the HCG. The primary site will have to be removed after I complete my chemo.
I have more information on what happens next after chemo. I complete chemo on January 20th, and I have an appointment with the surgeon that day to schedule the removal of the primary site (that is just an easier way to say it to ease my mind). The surgery will likely be the 29th of January. I also have a CT scan scheduled for Jan. 21 to see what is left of the metastatic sites in my abdomen, chest, and lungs. I will see my oncologist again on the 23 of Jan. to review what is left of the tumors and determine what other surgeries are needed. Usually there is some remnants of the tumor remaining that has to be removed surgically. Given the multiple sites of my tumors, I could be facing multiple surgeries.
After they remove the remaining tissue they have to determine the nature of the tissue; it could be scar tissue, dead tumor cells, or remaining active tumor cells. If they find remaining active tumor cells I will then undergo 2 more rounds of chemo, with different drugs, to ensure there is nothing left.
So while we are nearing the end, there are still some questions to be answered and possibly some more challenges ahead. I feel several emotions at this point. The predominant one is excitement that I am nearing the end of treatment and am still feeling very well, but a little fear is creeping in as well. I have never been afraid that I won't beat this, but now I worry about how effective the treatment has been. How much is left? What type of cells will they find? How difficult will the surgeries be? Given the location of the tumors I know that it may be very invasive surgery to access them. The chemo has been surprisingly easy, but my most difficult challenges may lie ahead.
Last night I awoke at 3:00 am, unable to sleep due the side effects of the Decadron I am on this week. I began thinking of all of these questions and I began praying. I came to the realization that whatever I have left to face, I will approach it the same way I have approached this cancer thus far; head on with my faith, family, and friends as a foundation of strength. I have learned that you have to play the cards you are dealt in life. Truly, worrying about these things is counter productive. The only way to beat adversity is to identify what you are up against, and then attack it head-on without looking back. Through God I feel I can accomplish anything. He provides guidance, love, and confidence. Most important of all He has blessed me with family and friends. My Megan is my rock, Ethan is my joy, and the rest of my family are blessings of love and never ending support. I have also found how important my friends are in this process. This blog has provided an amazing experience that has showed me how many friends truly care about me. I have found that beyond the many posts I have received that there are many others that are reading and either praying for me or keeping me in their thoughts. To me, you are like the arms of God surrounding me in his strength. Thank you all for your support. Whatever lies ahead, I will attack it head-on with my faith, my family, and my friends. There is nothing that this cancer can throw at us that we cannot beat!
This has got me thinking about when I was first diagnosed and the thoughts about with whom I should share this diagnosis. At first it was hard to imagine discussing the nature of my cancer with anyone but my doctors, family, and closest friends. However, I now know that would have been a mistake. It has been amazing to see how far this blog has spread through the community and to old friends. What I have gained from that show of love and support has been overwhelming. So I leave you with this advice: don't be afraid of sharing your challenges in life openly with your friends. You never know how much they care and are ready to support you unless you allow them the opportunity. There is no greater feeling in life that to know you are cared for, and that will give you immeasurable strength.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)