I still feel the best I have felt in weeks and continue to have a strong appetite. I am out walking the halls each morning to keep my muscles working. It is amazing how just being in the hospital can make you feel sick. It is easy to lie in bed and let everyone else take care of you. I am not going to allow that to happen though. I may have cancer, but I am not sick. My body is still strong and is handling the chemo well, so as long as I am able I am going to maintain as much of my independence as possible. So I think 6 laps around the 11th floor may be close to a mile, and I try to do that daily. I have been told that I am doing the best of all of the patients in the system right now. Of course, I may also be 30-40 years younger than most of the others. I know that the chemo will have a cummulative effect over time, but everyday that is symptom free means that I have postponed the horrors of chemo one more day.
Thank you for all of the positive posts and the kind words. You can't imagine how good it feels to have so much support. Thank you also to those who have been able to stop by to see me; Doug, Colleen, Steve, Jake, Casey, Kat, Brad, Madhu, Kathy, Becky, Mom, Dad, Megan, and Ethan. I apologize to those that have called but I have not returned your call. I am getting much more tired and that prevents me from returning all of the calls. Please know that I appreciate the calls and that they give me strength.
I continue to have rare circumstances with my cancer. On one of the first nights they found that my heart rate was 126. It turns out that one of the hormones that is released by the cancer mimics a thyroid hormone, and is therefore stimulating my thyroid. Thus, I have a raised heartrate much like someone with Graves Disease. Both the oncologist and the endocrinologist said this has been known as a possible sypmtom, but neither of them have ever seen it before! I just keep telling them to take good notes so that we can show everyone how to beat it. They have me on a thyroid medication now, that quickly reduced my pusle to 105, and they think the chemo is working well enough that they may be able to start weaning me off the thyroid drug in the next day or so.
I have been reading Lance Armstrong's book while I have been in here. One of the things that struck me is that I never went through some of the anger and fear that he describes struck him. It seems that a lot of people ask 'why me?'. For some reason I never really gave that much thought until reading the book. I guess my outlook is that I could spend the rest of my life trying to figure out why, and never find an answer. Besides, that is already in the past, and the answer will not help me beat it. Yet, I still find that it is a difficult question to completely igonore. What I have concluded is that there could be no reason at all, and it is just dumb luck, or there may be a very good reason why I have this. Maybe with all of the rare indiosyncracies of my disease I will provide more insight into how to beat this cancer for others. Maybe I will end up in the journals and case studies. Maybe it is preparing me for something in my future where I can help others. There is really no way to know, and there likely is no answer. So I am going to close the book on that question and continue to focus on the future and the cure!
Thanks everyone again for your support. You love and prayers uplift me. I am still strong and I am still winning. The eviction notice has been sent, and it is just a matter of time until we have killed all of the cancer.
7 comments:
Go Matt! You've got a great spirit. You'll kick this for sure - I am so impressed (but not surprised) with your strength. Love to you all from Aubrey, Chris, and Lily.
Matt, We've just read your blog and were very touched by it. With your positive attitude you'll fight this all the way. Keep up the good work! Love Aunt Cheryl and Uncle Bill
Hi Dr. Matt, Thanks for the blog entries. It lets us know how you are doing and what the treatments are. I find treatments interesting. There are some questions we never find the answers to. But things both good and bad happen for a reason. Sometimes the reasons are not clear, but at some point you'll be able to understand. Your treatments may indeed help someone else in the future. The porte that you have in your arm was once an experimental procedure, my mother in law had one of the first ones placed when she had cancer. Megan brought Ethan into the office on Thursday. What a cutie! He had on his trick or treat pants and his pumpking socks. He is a big boy. I asked Megan if she was feeding him super milk. I won't write about the Wolverines, you probably know about them. I'll finish now, but know that you and your family are in our thoughts and prayers. The news of your illness has spread like wildfire, which I knew it would. Amazing how much GI is like a small town. Take care and keep up the fight. Jackie
Hey there Matt,
Emily and I are very proud of your perpective and strength through this. Well done you. We think of you often and our prayers are your way. For me, you continue to bring me a strengh of commitment to my own work daily. Thanks for sharing your blog messages. And, as a side note, thanks to Fred for the emails and thanks to Megan for loving and taking care of you.
Talk to soon.
-Andy
You go Matt! You are an inspiration to me. Keep up the good fight. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
- Dan
Hi Matt, You don't know us, but we met that darling wife, Megan, of yours while she was in California helping with A Train Show. We are related, even though you haven't met us, and we live on the West Coast! We are so very impressed with your positive attitude and approach to what you are dealing with. Please know that you will be in our thoughts and prayers. You SO have the right attitude to handle and beat this CHALLENGE! Major hugs and prayers from the California "Stanley connection." Dorie & John Davis
Matt - Your posts are a clear reminder that as expected cancer picked the wrong person to #@%& with. lp
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