Ups and Downs

As we have seen many times over the past 11 months, the battle with cancer is filled with ups and downs. The past week was no different. The last time I posted I had just found out that my HCG had dropped significantly, and I had just been in for another CT scan. Since then we have received both encouraging and discouraging news. First, last Friday, we received some good news regarding the CT scan. All of the tumors showed either no change or shrinkage, except for one in my abdomen. This one had grown slightly, but it also showed some signs of necrosis (cell death) in the middle of the tumor. While we did not like to hear that it was larger, some of the increase in size could be attibuted to swelling associated with the necrosis in the center of the tumor. The tumors that had not changed were already quite small, and likely were scar tissue that may never go away. Both of my doctors in Ann Arbor and New York were very encouraged about this news.

I had my HCG checked again last Friday, and received the results via text message on Monday while en route to my appointment in NY. The news was not at all what we had expected. My HCG had shot back up to 12,122. We were stunned, and so were my doctors. It is highly unusual to have such large swings in such a short time. In a matter of 2 weeks my HCG went from 7500 to 2500 to 12,000. No one really had an explanation, so we checked it again on Monday in NYC, hoping to find that the 12,122 was an error. Monday's result was 10,751; a drop from the previous reading, but still higher than we hoped and expected. We went ahead with treatment and headed home discouraged.

I had my HCG checked again today, but have not received the results. When it dropped to 2500 it was on the Thursday after chemo, and it was the only time that we have checked it so soon after treatment. Maybe by checking it again at the same interval it will shed some more light on what is happening. I will also likely check it again next week some time. As far as what these swings in HCG mean in the big picture, no one really knows. My tumor marker still seems to be trending up, which would normally suggest that I should drop out of the study and seek another form of treatment, but the CT scan shows some signs that this is working. I saw the scan myself and it looked like the middle of the tumor was dying. My doctors feel that it is worth continuing with this treatment, but will follow the tumor marker more closely. The complication is that this is a clinical trial, so my doctor in NY has to confer with the other researchers and convince them to allow me to stay in the study, even though my tumor marker is rising. Normally they will remove a patient from a clinical trial when there is evidence of disease progression. My tumor marker may indicate disease progression, but the CT scan may indicate improvement. The ups and downs continue.

The chemo has hit me harder this time. I am much more fatigued, and did not feel well at all on Tuesday and Wednesday. I am better today, but still very tired. We will continue to lay low and rest the next few days, but I also will try to get back outside and walk/run. We took a walk this morning and evening with Ethan, and it sure makes me feel better to get outside and get moving. It is harder to run these days, but I am going to keep fighting.

The highlight of this past week, of course, was the Michigan/Notre Dame game! Besides being an amazing game, it was a beautiful day and we had the opportunity to see a lot of friends. Megan and I were able to tailgate before the game, and even got into the stadium and onto the field before the game. We had our picture taken on the 50 yard line, where I proposed 5 years ago. You may not all know the story, but our first date was the Michigan/Notre Dame game 6 years ago, and I proposed to her on the M on the fifty just less than a year later. I am not sure the staff at the stadium knew what to do with Megan in her Notre Dame t-shirt, but when they heard our story they were happy to take these pictures for us.

It was great to see many good friends before and after the game. There are too many of you to name, from the usual tailgate crew to the many friends from out of town, it was great to see all of you. For me, it just felt great to be doing what I normally do in the fall, spend a Saturday in Ann Arbor. It was just great to feel like myself. Thank you all for celebrating the day with me.

As for the game, it was one of the most exciting games I have ever seen at Michigan Stadium. I had my doubts whether the youthful Michigan offense would be able to pull it out down the stretch, but they showed great character and poise. Notre Dame may have been the better team on Saturday, but Michigan found a way to win. That is something that they can build on, and I think we will be in for some more surprises this season.

There are plenty of other blogs out there that you can read to rehash the game, so as much as I would like to do that, I will leave it to the others.

I will close with more pictures of Ethan, and a few of the new suites at Michigan Stadium. The photos of Ethan are from a couple of weeks ago, when he decided to help me wash the car. I was rinsing it off, and Ethan took the sponge out of the bucket and began scrubbing the bumper. He is a quick learner. Now if I could just teach him to get me a beer, I could sit back and watch him do all the work!